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Asterisk Hedge

Warning!

"Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil
This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see.

If you do have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

Timelessen - Void scene

Story is in Completed Mode!

"Wow, spending so much time in this void has actually made me finish!" - Pen
This story has officially been over. Go check out this episode's info page for information about music, characters, trivia and more! Also, please know that after 24 hours of this on an episode page, you must only edit it if the placement of words has the same amount of letters in it.

"Vas-A-Yop" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and thus it has no real air date or official episode data. However, it is the first "new" episode posted on this wiki, which says a lot.

EpisodeEdit

At the Schreibers' houseEdit

  • Saye: Morning, mum! Morning, dad!
  • Pencil: G' mornin'!s
  • Pen: Wake up on the right side of the bed?
  • Saye: Yeah.
  • Pencil: Why're'ee such in an 'urry?
  • Saye: Nothing, just ready for another day of learning and intelligence-grabbing!
  • Pencil: Thet's me girl!

[Pencil Jr sighs. Eight of the kids run down the stairs too.]

  • Sio: Heyy!
  • Ximena: What's all the rush?
  • Javier: Are the voices coming again?
  • Saye: Nope, just me and my intellect!

[Pen laughs at the TV screen.]

  • Sio: What's so funny, Dad?
  • Pen: Oh, it's—
  • Saye: ... better if we don't know...
  • Pen: No, everyone come check this out!
  • Pencil: Pen, this mus' be none o' yer fantasy football again, fer the las' time my team'll win!
  • Pen: Even better!

Living roomEdit

  • Pencil: Wot?
  • Pen: So you know that music video that mum was doing last week?
  • Yaretzi: Yeah!
  • Citlali: The one where you left us with Aunt Needle?
  • Pencil: Aye, thet one apparently. Look, dear, you don' 'ave to show 'em the video. I'm sure 'ey can get their allotted laughter time in session 'er's ...
  • Pen: No, this is at perfect timing! Listen!

[On TV, Jukebox is narrating.]

  • Jukebox: And the #1 viral video of this century so far is ... Something Different This Time by Mickey-Zee!
  • Saye: Who is this Mickey-Zee?
  • Sio: I think I know ...

[The music video starts. Pencil is sitting around the fake table, with a harem of guys (Bolty, Ingot and Pine Tree) sitting around her in varying positions. Pencil is seen on the computer.]

Pencil: Oh, wot's this?

[She is on UsoKitabu – looking at a real-life picture of Pencil and Pen on a dinner date.]

Bolty: Hey, what's that thing in that pic—
Pencil: Shh, 'tis okay.

[In real life.]

  • Pen: Damn, I am smoking!
  • [ Pencil · Kids ]: Shh!

[In the video.]

Ingot: Should an 'ideous guy ever face you like that, I've got you—

[She slaps him.]

Voice: Game over.
Pine Tree: Hey, check out those comments!
Bolty: Oh yeah! [reading] This one is from Match Zapałka. [slow motion] Mmaattcchh Zzaappaałłkkaa.
Pencil: Wot's'e says?
Ingot: You can read it, you [bleep]

[In real life.]

  • Saye: That—
  • Pencil: Oh, 'tis jus' a role.

[In the video.]

Pencil: Match Zapałka says, "Omg, photography is so 2003. Please help me, and have it be a real selfie." Wotn'ale's a selfie?
Ingot: [still on the ground] I want to know what a selfie is!
Pine Tree: I also want to know what a selfie is!
Bolty: I still want to know who that thing in your Uso photos are!
Match: [mystically] Well, you'll never forget now!
Pencil: 'O'n'ale's'ee?
Match: I ... I ... I was the commenter!

[Everyone screams. Pencil rushes to her harem. Then, Match teleports out of the computer.]

  • Sio: [in real life] Aunt Match!
Match: Poo-ka cha-ka, poo-ka cha-ka, poo-ka cha-ka!
Pencil: Wot's she doin'?
Ingot: She's ... she's beatboxing!
Bolty: I think I'm going to be sick. [vomits offscreen]
Rap: Mickey-Zee; "Something Different This Time"

Now this is a story all about how,
The selfie came known around town,
And I'd like to take nine hours,
Don't be aquamarine [points to a chair with several paint sets on it]
I'll tell you how I came up with the name of Selfie Queen.

[Song beat changes.]

Poo-ka cha-ka, poo-ka cha-ka, poo-ka cha-ka, poo-ka ch— I
met a little biצ׳ at Wal-Mart last night,
Barely got in a brawl, never tried to fight,
But instead she got her cell phone out,
And all that was said instead of a shout:

"You're Mickey-Zee, yo, dontcha know,
I barely consider you a
Let us all put our differences aside,
And on the kiddie car we shall ride!"

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga...

Then we got out of the car, and everyone watched,
But all I was thinking was getting more swatch,
The– the best part, though, it's about to come,
It will startle, it will fartle your dad and/or mum!

So she got out her phone for me to see,
And then she took the liberty,
To hold her phone up to us and press the cam-ray,
I was so astonished, didn't know what to say!

Umm-umm-umm-umm-umminya-umminy...

"Say, whatcha name, what was that thing?
It's ugly as heck, but pretty as bling."
"Well, dontcha know, this is no quiz,
But this is what a selfie is!"

This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!

This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!

[Various camera shots of Match and the harem dancing around Pencil, who is sitting and watching à Clara from The Nutcracker.]

I've, like, come to the world, co- come to the world. Come to the world, co- come to the world, to teach teach teach what a selfie is, to teach teach teach what a selfie is!

This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!
This is what a selfie is!

[spoken]

Pencil: Oh, thanks'ee, kind lady, fer tellin' me wot a selfie is!
Ingot: It was breathtaking.
Bolty: A milestone in our young lives.
Pine Tree: Please happen again.
Pencil: Oi, wot's thet ghos' thing out o' yer screen?

[A ghost, in the form of Snowball, eats up the screen.]

  • Sio: That—
  • Citlali: Was—
  • Cil: Goo!
  • Jukebox: Okay, that was too much. But after all, that video already made it into one of the most viewed videos of all time, and also the most disliked ever, where 99% of viewers disliked the video, a record among connoisseurs ...
  • Pencil: Oi, where's Zorah?
  • Yaretzi: Maybe it's better if she doesn't watch the video!
  • Javier: Yeah, we've seen enough already.

[Zorah comes down.]

  • Zorah: OMH, did you see mum's video?

[Awkward silence.]

  • Pencil: Come on kids, out'ee goes, don' want to miss the bus!
  • Pen: Er, the bus isn't coming today!
  • Pencil: Why not?
  • Pen: Another strike.
  • Pencil: Dang'e, now I've to drive'em!

[The kids cheer and leave with Pencil. Manet Pen.]

  • Pen: Aaaaaaand rewind ...

[He watches it again.]

  • Pen: YES! I am smokin'!

[An arm, presumably Pencil's, comes out of the door and throws the remote out to the streets.]

SchoolEdit

  • Sio: Hey, guys.
  • Sharpener: What goes on?
  • Sio: You saw the video of "Mickey-Zee" this morning?
  • Lego: My parents won't let me watch that.
  • Map: Yeah, who was the in the video?
  • Sio: Singing was my aunt Match and talking was my mother and some weird people my mum met.
  • Shieldy: Cool! You're related to a … you know …

[Mrs Aufganz walks by.]

  • Mrs. Aufganz: Those types of people will not be spoken of here.
  • Sio: What in the name of German Argentines is she talking about?
  • Sharpener: We may just be in the ninth grade, but I'll tell you that your aunt Match works at a—

[The bell rings, transitioning to the next scene.]

AKWD StudiosEdit

  • Slightly Used Straw: [upon seeing Pencil] Hey there, beautiful.
  • Pen: Why, thank you.
  • Slightly Used Straw: Sir, I didn't—
  • Pen: [to Pencil] I'll do the talking 'cause I have a way with the economicals.
  • Pencil: Wot's'ee goin' to say? Somethin' along, "May we please 'ave our pay?"
  • Pen: Something along those lines. [to SUS] Where's our money?
  • Slightly Used Straw: Money? What …
  • Pencil: We did the job.
  • Slightly Used Straw: Vas-a-yop?[1] Wait … oh my gōih, you were in that music video! With, y'know, Mickey-Zee?
  • Pen: Yeah, may we please receive the pay?
  • Slightly Used Straw: [goes on the computer and finds a large database] Hmm … Schreiber, 2 results. [He clicks on both of their names. A beep sound is heard] That's not good.
  • Pencil: Wot ain' good?
  • Slightly Used Straw: It says Bura Karma — Vetana Mem Giravata Ai.
  • Pencil: Oi, thet's 'Indi fer "Bad Karma — Pay Declined"!
  • Pen: Bad karma? We need to speak to a manager.

[Coincidentally, the Director, Badge[2] comes by.]

  • Badge: Hey, what's up, hello!
  • Pen: Something you sleep on … ?
  • Pencil: 'Ey, Badge! [she kisses him French-style] Muah!
  • Badge: Thai!
  • Pen: So, we'd just like to ask something.
  • Badge: Sure, my dear General.
  • Pen: Where is our pay for Something Different This Time?
  • Badge: Ooh … uh … homina …
  • Pen: You don't know, do you?
  • Badge: Now, we need to see my director.

Director's Director's placeEdit

  • Pen: Whoever lives in this dump has no sense of office style.
  • Pencil: Eww, is thet blood splattered on the walls or red paint?
  • Pen: I can see why people call us rich, conceited snobs. Quick, someone make a move before he makes suspicion out of us.
  • Pencil: Pretty sure the Director is already. An' why d'ye refer ter as a male? It's 2013, us ladies'a got administrative power 'ere.
  • Pen: Come on, Badge continuously used male pronouns.
  • Pencil: I know, I jus' thought 'e'd be more o' the—
  • Snowball: SILENCE!
  • Pen: Snowball? What are you doing here?
  • Pencil: Thought'ee was in jail.
  • Snowball: NO. I am the Director's Director.
  • [ Pen · Pencil ]: [ What? · Wot? ]
  • Snowball: A Koala Walks Dumbly is anagram for "Snowball Yukidama", block-headèd stupid people.
  • Pen: Well!
  • Snowball: WHAT DOST THOU WANT, MORONS?
  • Pencil: We'd like our pay, but yer computer says we've got bad karma.
  • Snowball: That's right. Thou hast ill karma.
  • Pen: Okay, care to elaborate?
  • Snowball: Thou never contactedst me after the Battle for Dream Island. That is rude.
  • Pencil: Says the rudes' person I've e'er met!
  • Pen: Shh! Sorry about that … so can we have our money now?
  • Snowball: NO. End of discussion.
  • Pen: That's surprisingly okay with us, right? I mean, we're already on the Orbs list of richest Kenyans, so it's not like we need the money, and besides we had fun doing it, so it's not like the money—
  • Pencil: Pen, 'e's gone.
  • Pen: [falls in tears] Oh, Pencil, we really needed that money after that bet I took on football our children's college funds! I can't believe all that hard work we did for nothing, all gone!
  • Pencil: Shall I carry'ee to the car?
  • Pen: Please do.
  • Pencil: Alright.

[She picks him up and walks him to the car.]

Later that eveningEdit

  • Pencil: Oi, yer back! 'Ow was soccer practice?
  • Zorah: It was nice. We didn't do no soccer.
  • Pencil: Wot did'ee do? I'd love to give'ee a lesson on double negatives but I'm jus' too busy right now.
  • Zorah: Coach Maria sat down with the whole team and discussed the importance of people she never had in her last regeneration.
  • Pencil: Was she talkin' o' me?
  • Zorah: Nope! We spoke about Mickey-Zee.
  • Pencil: [drops her ladle in the pan] Shut the fig tree!
  • Zorah: What? I see Aunt Match to be a really important person.
  • Pencil: Match is not an importan' person to this generation!
  • Zorah: Mum—
  • Pencil: An' she's been mentioned by all the other kids too! Sal's been tellin' me a new word that refers ter'ah thet 'e learned whils' playim' video games!
  • Zorah: What was it?
  • Pencil: Quomph!
  • Zorah: What the hell's that intended to mean?
  • Pencil: Le's jus' say it's the part o' the match thet 'er boyfriends—
  • Zorah: Okay, I'm done. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be in the looloo throwing up.
  • Pencil: K!
  • Zorah: By the way, where's Dad?
  • Pencil: 'E's at Embassy assistin' some Canadian tourists 'o're obsessed with Mickey-Zee.
  • Zorah: What kind of tourists?
  • Pencil: Oh, y'know, the usual guys 'o're obsessed with viral video stars featurin' a woman — the h'average neckbeard an' 50-year-ol' man.
  • Zorah: Sounds nice! [returning to her room]
  • Pencil: Oh, an' tell the others they're gettin' spoon soup fer dinner.

That nightEdit

  • Sio: Hey, does anyone want to watch Diff?
  • Yaretzi: Diff?
  • Saye: It's short for Something Different This Time.
  • Javier: That's so stupid.
  • Salvador: You're so stupid.
  • Sio: Alright, let's not turn this into the comments section of WeweTubu. I'll set the TV brightness to extremely low.

[They start watching the video.]

The parents' roomEdit

  • Pencil: Rough day, innit?
  • Pen: Yeah, so many people trying to get to Match.
  • Pencil: Shame to wot this world's goin' ter …
  • Pen: I just find it sickening that most of the men I know are out to see my sister just because of her Internet life. If I were her, sure, I'd bask in my own beauty but it's different because I'd have a second life to follow.
  • Pencil: An' wot would thet mean?
  • Pen: At the embassy my parents texted Eraser and me that Match wouldn't get any more monetary benefits due to her shame to the family.
  • Pencil: Thet's terrible! Match can't survive on poverty! Remember 'igh school when she worked at Shielda's Chickenry?
  • Pen: I do, unfortunately. But I've got a plan to stop this! Please wish for my return, commander.[3] [He kisses her.]
  • Pencil: Aye, sir.

Terwiter's Bar of Unfaithfulness and Entertainment* CentreEdit

  • OJ: Alright, all you participles out there! It's 11:55 right now, so you know what happens next!
  • Audience: Yeah!
  • Paper: Bring out the girls!
  • OJ: Now, my shorter and more inexperienced significant other to my business mogul-like self, you know the rules! You can't have the girls out yet, but you can feast thine eyes this midnight.
  • Paper: Fine …

[Meanwhile, Pen sneaks backstage, where he finds Salt.]

  • Pen: Salt?
  • Salt: It's Sire, and hey! I thought you and sweet little diddlebum were enemies!
  • Pen: Sweet little …
  • Salt: It's what I call OJ, but don't tell him that or I'll get threatened to live on the kitchen table "to which I belong".
  • Pen: Okay, well … that's not weird at all … our families are/have been sorta like enemies. Anyways, I'd like to talk to Match please.
  • Salt: Merrier?
  • Pen: Sure … I don't know if I can answer to that.
  • Salt: She's behind this curtain.

[He goes behind the curtain, and finds Match and Pepper playing Spongy-Cake.]

Spongy-Cake: Match & Pepper

[ Match · Pepper ]: Five, six, seven, eight …
Match: Who do we absolutely hate?
[ Match · Pepper ]: Spongy! Spongy!
Nine, ten, and then eleven!
Match: I myself am Jewish, plus I don't believe in Heaven—
Pepper: But who'll end up in Hell, even if he done do well?
[ Match · Pepper ]: Spongy! Spo—

[They catch sight of Pen.]

  • Match: Omg, how rude!
  • Pepper: This guy's be like interrupting our hode for Spongy!
  • Pen: Hode?
  • Pepper: It's a pre-midnight hatin' ode to prepare for what's be goin' on.
  • Match: It's Terwiter talk, clearly you don't know.
  • Pepper: You'd probably be cooped inside ya ie readin' the Holy Wordbook or something giving googoo eyes to ya wife.
  • Pen: I have been insulted far enough by you people, and if I can't succeed on th—
  • Match: Omg, it's about to be midnight; we, like, need to be dressed …
  • OJ: And I present the every-night midnight special, featuring Mickey-Zee as Merrier, Pepper as Pork, and Salt as Sire, I present Porksire Merrier![5]
  • Pepper … yeah, be quiet yourself!
  • Pen: Yeah, sure I'll be quiet. Well to heck with that! [The midnight clock strikes, causing the curtain to open with Pen and the girls half-dressed. He grabs Salt's microphone.] We'll be back eventually.

[Awkward silence.]

  • burrito[char tag?]: Yeah, half-dressed girls! That's my thang!

HomeEdit

Pencil: Oi, wot's thet ghos' thing out o' yer screen? [The Snowball-ghost thing comes out of the screen. The kids laugh — mostly.]

  • Ximena: That part always scares me.
  • Saye: I guess we can just read the comments. Shall we do one for each?
  • Zorah: Um, I'd rather have everyone else read it while I sit around hearing you mispronounce the commenters' names.
  • Saye: Okay. So Moldywart214 says Terrible. There are some rocks at Stonehenge that can write better lyrics than that ameteur. Now I may not be my mother at spelling, but Moldywart can't spell "amateur" correctly.
  • Sio: Omega Centauri says this video is a manifestation of the most evil things in the world money because Mickey Zee is the worst possible thing in the universe— Do I have to read this whole thing? It devolves into a sermon about the dangers of public transport.
  • Citlali: TotallyNotSpam writes HEY EVERYONE! PLEASE COMMENT WITH THE NUMBER 68 IF YOU WANT MICKY ZZZ TO STOP MIMICKING OUR POP MUSIC AND RETURN TO THE INDUSTRY WE DESIGNATE AS
  • Yaretzi: Please don't say it!
  • Salvador: I'd say it but I can't be reading at this level.
  • Zorah: Come on, bro, it's like half the length of your full name.

Pencil's roomEdit

  • Pencil: Huh? Wot's a light in the room fer? [she gets up and opens the door to the kids' room] Wot's yer emergency? [She sees the word on the screen. Her eyes freeze up in horror.]

Terwiter'sEdit

  • Match: Look what you did!
  • OJ: Well, well, well. If it isn't little Mr Schrei-BURRRRRRRR?
  • Pen: As if I was waiting for slightly larger Mr Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is. [quickly spoken] And technically while you did pronounce my last name correctly, that rolled R at the end, as any grade-seven-level German student would understand, is associated with that Adolf Hitler fellow.
  • OJ: The point is, what are you doing on stage? A lot of my customers came for women simultaneously dancing reading poetry, and if they see a male up there, they'll lose interest. (Except for my Papery-poo of course.) Is that what you want for my business?
  • Pen: Technically, that's exactly what I want. But that's not the point! I came to see Merrier Match because I … y'know … just have to talk to her.
  • OJ: She's over there. Yo Merrier! This guy wants to talk to you! She's all yours.
  • Pen: [going to her] Match—
  • Match: Look, I know what you're trying to say.
  • Pen: You do?
  • Match: You want a chance to take a slow dance with me with your wife in bed! Well, I'm having none of it, I'm going to call Pencil and tell her about your unfaithfulness at this bar of entertainment (asterisk) and unfaithfulness.
  • Pen: Woah, wait … what? I- I don't even like you! I just came to say, well, here in words … spoken by me … by doing this, you're ruining your life.

[Match says nothing. Instead she slaps him across the face.]

  • Pen: What was that for?
  • Match: I don't know. Now why do you want to see me?
  • Pen: I've been talking with Pencil earlier, and we both agree that you're wasting your life.
  • Match: Then why didn't you bring Pencil? She's, like, my best friend.
  • Pen: Well … she's …
  • Match: You're going for your wife because it's, like, your item-ology that Kenyan women shouldn't be here at this time of night! Omg, so, like, you're being so much of a sexist!
  • Pen: I'm not—
  • Match: Listening to me? Well I'm not listening to you, lalalalalalalalala …
  • Pen: Wow, how do you consecutively do those L sounds, I've got a speech to say in a few weeks and I need to trill my L's.
  • Match: I knew I shouldn't have, like, trusted you; you're the worst brother ever!

[She storms off.]

  • Pen: [sarcastically] Nice. [he gets his phone and texts Pencil]

HomeEdit

  • Pencil: I can't believe ye disobeyed me! Y'went watchin' ther Internet a' midnight, an' I ne'er knew y'was readin' thon obscene comments on Mickey Zed, I mean, Match's video! I can't think of a punishment fer'ee—
  • Saye: How about grounding us for 21,600 seconds?
  • Pencil: Oh, this'll take longer than four hours.
  • Javier: It's six—
  • Sio: Avi!

[Pencil's phone gets the text signal.]

  • Pen: 'Tis from Dad.
  • Citlali: What does it say?
  • Pencil: "Help me honey, Match was yellin' at me." Omg. Yer dad's in trouble; I'd better go. Don't expec' to be alone an' scot-free.
  • Salvador: Huh?
  • Pencil: "Pen, yer kids 'a' been surfin' the Web an' readin' comments designated fer a h'immature audience. Please take me place." Send!

[Exit Pencil.]

A few minutes later.Edit

  • Pen: Well, look at what we have here!
  • Zorah: Just get to the point … please.
  • Saye: Dad, please don't be mad at us!
  • Sio: I prefer my internet connected here.
  • Pen: I'm not mad.
  • Ximena: Are you furious?
  • Pen: Not even. I've come to teach you guys a lesson. [He sits on the bed.] I understand what's going on with you.
  • Sio: You do?
  • Pen: Of course. When I was younger, your uncle Eraser and I were pretty mischiefs, I, obviously prettier than him. He would always bring me along to these Canadian middle school parties, and I never knew how rude those kids were. I was never introduced to, well … those things and sexuality until Eraser actually brought me there, and he caught on and, while I stayed home … he brought your aunt Match!
  • Saye: Dad, you're crying!
  • Pen: N- No, I'm not! This story has a happy ending, I promise. When we moved to Kenya, I got better and Eraser and Match got … bad.
  • Yaretzi: How bad?
  • Pen: They started to do stuff I don't want to say here.
  • Kids: Oooh!
  • Pen: Then they stopped caring about school, and now look where they are: Match is out in the iniquity dens and Eraser gets his money out of illicit foreign bargaining. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to end up like them.
  • Citlali: But all we did was read comments.
  • Pen: Yeah, but exposure to reading those without any warning will result in those ways. Wouldn't you rather follow your dreams instead? Like being an astronomer or monster truck driver or consulate like your old man here ...
  • Qalam-Rassas: I want to follow my dreams!
  • Pen: That's good; you don't want to end up like Aunt Match. I had the least interesting talk with her 15 minutes ago.
  • Zorah: What about mum? What do you think she's doing now?

Backstage at Terwiter'sEdit

  • Pencil: Oi m8, this ain' bad dancin'!
  • Match: It's, like, too bad all the dancing that's not, like, involve the shaking of body parts occur back here.
  • Pepper: But it's so much better …
  • Salt: Dancing together!

[They all laugh.]

  • Pepper: Hey Merrier, how did the talk with your fuddy-duddy bruddy go?
  • Match: Muddy? Seriously though, like, he was the worst. He tried to convince me to stop doing this, but I love my job!
  • Pencil: Match, d'ye really love yer job?
  • Match: Of course! What kind of girl wouldn't dream of, like, winning the affection of the crowd?
  • Pencil: Me. But ain't there anythin' you wants to be?
  • Match: Nope!
  • Pencil: Really?
  • Match: Well in all honesty, I always wanted to be … wait a second. Like, you just came here to replace Pen at this!
  • Pencil: Maybe, maybe not.
  • Match: Penc-penc, I thought you were supportive of my decisions. I thought you felt the opposite of your dumb husband (no offence). Most of all, I thought you were my friend.

[Pencil sighs and walks out sadly.]

HomeEdit

  • Pen: How'd it go?
  • Pencil: Terrible! Match won' talk to me, an' I feel 'orrible! I shanter e' carried out thet plan, sir!
  • Pen: No worries, there's always next time.
  • Pencil: Oi, wot about the kids?
  • Pen: They're sleeping. I disciplined them.
  • Pencil: With actions?
  • Pen: With words.
  • Pencil: Oh, thet's me boy! [she kisses him]
  • Pen: Now we just need a way to get Match in the right direction.
  • Pencil: But if we leave, won't ther 'ouse get burgled again?
  • Pen: We've got twins who can go into Creepy mode. I think we're safe.
  • Pencil: Aye.

[They go out.]

  • Pen: So Match most enjoys performing in front of people, right?
  • Pencil: Aye, thet am' bein' in love. Ye'd think thet I'd know me bes' friend already, yeah?
  • Pen: Wait, so if Match loves the presence of guys … [more quietly] I know exactly the guy she should see.
  • Pencil: Omg, thet voice sounds so great on'ee![6] Say something else, m8!
  • Pen: [in the same voice] Can we stop at a washroom first?

Terwiter'sEdit

  • Eraser: Did you really have to bring me here? I've got a plane to Hamster Dance taking off and I'll miss it!
  • Pen: One, it's Amsterdam.
  • Pencil: An' two, don'tee want yer girlfriend to be happy?
  • Eraser: No.
  • Pencil: Fuク yerself, m8.
  • Eraser: So what am I doing, guy who actually makes sense?
  • Pen: At one o'clock, you'll see the girls go on stage. Match will have gone by "Merrier".
  • Eraser: What sugarcoaty flop made up that?
  • Pen: Long story. Anyway, all of the guys will have their eyes glued to the dancers. Then a guy dressed like some cave object will appear on a trapeze, making it rain wine. By then, the audience area will clear and she'll see you, covered in wine.
  • Pencil: Wow, Pen, yer very knowledgeable o' this place.
  • Pen: No, I was just paraphrasing this napkin … ew. [he tries to get it off of his hand]

[OJ gets on stage.]

  • OJ: Alright all you lovers of unfine dining, get your wine umbrellas ready and prepare to have the time of your lives!

[Everyone cheers. A pop song plays, and the girls come out of the curtains as said by Pen a few passages back. They dance voluptuously; this is not seen in the finished animation due to censorship. Then a cave object cosplayer rushes below the ceiling on a trapeze, making wine rain from the sky. The audience sans Eraser go to the side.]

  • Match, Salt & Pepper: This is what a selfie is!

[Match gasps.]

  • [ Salt · Pepper ]: [in slow motion] This … is … what … a … sel—

[Match falls to the ground.]

  • Match: I'm sorry, I just can't even.

[Everyone gasps.]

  • burrito[char tag?]: Did she take new medicine?
  • Paper: Mickey Zee speaks like a sober person!
  • OJ: What is going on now?
  • Match: I am so sorry, everyone. I just, like, can't keep being here for you guys at Terwiter's. I've realised that there are better things in life; I can't keep making videos and dancing for all of you Internet baes, when I know that I have my real bae. [points to Eraser] That's why I'm quitting.
  • OJ: Good, because you were fired two minutes ago. You missed a left swivel and the entire crowd noticed.
  • Match: Goodbye, biצ׳es! [Exit Match.]

Outside Terwiter'sEdit

  • Match: Y'know, guys, I really appreciate what you did, like, to me.
  • Pencil: Really?
  • Match: Of course! But, like, without a job and aspirations, what can I do now?

ShōhakokuEdit

  • Match: [who is wearing a Shōhakoku uniform] Hello, may I take your order?
  • Pencil: 'Ow's a new girl doin' at 'er new job?
  • Match: Omg, great! I'm loving this job! It was so nice of you guys to give me this— really.
  • Pencil: Oi, 'twasn' me.
  • Pen: Yeah, you've got your older bro to thank!
  • Match: Pen, it was you? Y'know, I think I won't spit in your latte.
  • Pen: Thanks. Hey, does anyone still recognise you as Mickey Zee?
  • Match: Shh! Step aside and watch. [to the next customer] Hello, may I take your order?
  • Baseball: Yes, I would indulge myself with a— No way, you're Mickey Z!
  • Match: No I'm not, even though I look like her. I heard the real Mickey Z … became a unicorn.
  • Baseball: No way, that's so cool! But my interest is in that new Sire and Pork duo.
  • Match: Cool!
  • Baseball: Can I state my ord—
  • Match: Nope!
  • Pen: [at the table] Let's not tell Match that we automatically re-auditioned her for the reformed K.
  • Pencil: Thet, by far, would Mickey 'er Zees the mos'.
THE END

NotesEdit

  1. What's a job?
  2. The same one from Object Twoniverse.
  3. If you're wondering if he means what he says, it's his own tradition from his Army days.
  4. I've never been to a restaurant as such, despite being in proximity to a few of them, so check as you wish.
  5. Get it? It rhymes with Yorkshire terrier? Dogs? Terwiters? Never mind.
  6. Think of the traffic cop from that SpongeBob episode Driven to Tears — same guy too.

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